Maybe the 99% are right. Maybe we should take all the money from the richest 1%. Perhaps, however, the protesters don’t go far enough. We should then find the most beautiful 1% and scar their faces with box cutters. Then we should find the smartest 1% and damage their brains. We should find the most athletic 1% and break their legs. We should find the healthiest 1% and feed them poison.
Equality for all! Of course, we’d need to appoint some bureau and give them absolute power to decide who is and who is not the 1%.
Edit: In response to a friend’s objection, I’ll acknowledge that protesters might not be calling to take all the money from the richest 1%, but the comparison still stands. I’m not calling to take all the beauty from the most beautiful 1%, only some of it. Their faces should be scarred just enough to knock them down into that meaty part of the bell curve.